Hey everybody, sorry for the lack of posting, both on here and Youtube. The last few months have been difficult in terms of my mental health, so I wasn’t feeling like talking about things. I need to work on that. Anyways, I’ve got a lot more to say in my latest video blog. Hope you check it out!
Went to my first support group session at the weight center tonight (focusing on exercise), and I’m really glad I went. It’s a really fantastic group of people, and I was excited to be able to give advice about post-surgical preparation and things to look out for. Can’t wait for the next session, which will deal with body image issues. Although I’m really psyched with my body’s progress thus far, I’m really interested to hear their take on the subject.
Short one today, but there you have it!
-Scott
I just read a heinous blog post by somebody about “fatties” at the gym who “clog up the equipment for more concentrated/determined humans, and ultimately achieve zero ends via their confused and disjointed exercise routines.” That sums up why I’ve never gone to a gym, ever. In any case…
So, I’m down 100 pounds. That’s awesome, but it’s not enough. I could just continue to eat better and let my drastically reduced stomach do its magic, but then I’d be wasting this wonderful tool I’ve been given. So, this weekend I started exercising. Aside from one summer where I played Pop Warner football, I’ve never had a daily exercise routine. I have no idea what I’m doing, and my body is a lot weaker than it was before surgery. Most of that is probably due to me not pushing myself to be more active before now, but…better late than never, right?
Saturday, I did 20 incline push-ups using my bathroom sink. Yes, the incline makes it easier, but I’m 315 pounds, and I don’t mind the help until I get stronger. Yesterday, I bumped that to 50. This morning, I’ve done 30 (I’ll do 20 more later today), with 30 situps and a bunch of leg lifts. This may be the wrong way to go about things – as stated, I’m clueless about this sort of thing. But I’m trying.
If you have any suggestions, I’m all ears. I plan to eventually get to doing DDP Yoga, but I can’t afford the DVDs at the moment, so that’s going to be a bit. I have a couple of goals I’m working towards now. One is to be under 250 by the time by birthday rolls around in November. I think with the diet and exercise combined, I can get there. The other…I’m keeping under wraps for now. If I achieve that one, the 250 is in the bag.
Please leave your thoughts, suggestions, etc. I’d love to hear them!
-Scott
I don’t have anything better currently, but…there you have it. Quick ‘n dirty:
5/19/13:
12/11/13:
1/30/14:
In case you can’t tell, I’ve decided that this blog will encompass more than my weight loss journey. It’s only a part of the transformation I’m undergoing, so prepare yourselves.
The last five years have been quite a struggle. My fiancee Amber had brain surgery on February 24, 2009 to correct Arnoald-Chiari Malformation (Type I). She had been having migraines for years, but after we started dating, they became more frequent and debilitating. While the surgery was a success structurally, it didn’t reverse the damage that had been done, though it did stop the symptoms from progressing further. I stopped working after her surgery, and I’ve basically been a full-time caregiver since then. Originally, this was because it’s impossible to tell when Amber’s going to go downhill in terms of pain, and I see the warning signs better than other people do. This wasn’t the only reason, though. Over time, I became more terrified about going back to the “real world.”
I’ve always been shitty at being an adult. I’m awful with money, I procrastinate endlessly, I have a terrible track record with jobs…I could go on, but that won’t fix anything. As stated, part of the transformation right now is physical, but just as important is my mental health. The biggest aspects of this that I need to overcome are my crippling self-doubt, fear of failure, and tendency to blame myself for everything under the sun. Anyways, back to the “real world,” and specifically, getting a job after not having worked for five years. I’ve been taking IT classes here and there for a few semesters, but I never felt that I could really swing it. Amber’s dad is definitely of the opinion that I have the skills and knowledge to get a gig somewhere, but do I believe it? How do I change my own mind? Where the hell do I start?
More on this later. Feel free to leave any thoughts you may have on the matter!
-Scott
Since I haven’t been recording YouTube updates, I figured I’ll do some more posts on here.
As referenced in my videos and “About” section, I’m a musician. I play guitar and sing, and I have a few projects:
Dreaded Silence – Melodic / Doom metal: I’ve been in DS for 10 years now…My first gig was on 11/19/03! We’ve put out 3 EPs and a demo, and have an album in progress. Along the way, we’ve had a lot of great times, met a lot of awesome people, and shared the stage with some fantastic bands, both local and international. Joining DS is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, and I’ve been privileged to share the experience with a few of the greatest friends I’ll ever have.
Here’s a live clip of us playing “Portrait Of A Past Life” off of our upcoming album, The Last Vestige Of Hope:
Screaming Skylight – Atmospheric rock: My DS bandmate Mike put this together, and I’ll be doing some guitar or bass, as well as backing vocals. Really creative stuff, and catchy as hell. I can’t wait to have the full-length done.
Here’s “Greenlight” from the 2012 demo. A rerecorded version will be on the album:
Scott Green – Acoustic rock: Yep, a solo project as well. Some of this material is from as far back as ’97 or so! I’m hoping to get a proper recording at some point, but in the meantime, I’m content to play at open mics and gig here and there.
Here’s a video of me playing “Transient Grace” and “Greyscale Romance” on my birthday in 2010:
Anyways, just wanted to share my passion. Expect more music posts in the future (as well as other subjects)!
-Scott
Apologies for the lack of posts…Life has been pretty crazy since my surgery on 11/20. I have a few blogs on my YouTube account with more in-depth discussion about the process immediately preceding and following the surgery.
In any case, yesterday I got on the scale at the weight center, and came in at 315.8 pounds. To many, that’s a number they’d never want to see. For me, it’s an incredible success. Since June 25, 2013, I’ve lost 102 pounds, 67 of which I’ve lost since my surgery on November 20th. To say that I feel great is an understatement. My mobility is 100% better, my breathing and sleep is improved, and my mental health is under control.
I have hope.
This process has not only been rewarding, but an emotional revelation. I lived in fear and shame for years. I fully believed that I deserved to be miserable, that I was unworthy of happiness, and that an early grave was my destiny. I don’t want to imply that this journey has been without its difficulties, because that’s far from the case. It took a long time for my strength and energy to come back. I have trouble drinking enough every day. I forget to eat. That’s a strange one. Before, I couldn’t stop eating…Now, I’m rarely hungry. There are foods that give me trouble, and there are days where I feel awful because something isn’t sitting right. Crushing pills made me gag on a daily basis. None of that matters in the long run, though.
So far, so good. I’m even feeling better about how I look. Many people seem to make this a focal point in their decision to go for surgery, and end up disappointed. That was never the endgame for me, so I consider it an added bonus. Clothes fit better (or worse, for the bigger items) – I’m down 3 sizes on pants so far! It’s been about 10 years since I weighed less than this, so I’m excited to keep it going.
In conclusion, I’m hoping to update more frequently going forward. I know I trend to say that a lot, but I’m going make a concerted effort to stay on top of things. In addition, I should have some before and after pics soon, so stay tuned, and thanks for reading!
-Scott
“Be safe, be happy, and don’t let anyone make you afraid.”
More on this thought later.
Just pre-registered for my surgery on 11/20. Nothing major, but…one more step closer!