140! / New Body Quirks / Getting More Active

Went with my fiancee to the weight center the other day, and jumped on the scale to check – I’m down to 278…140 pounds! Crazy. I’ve really been focusing on eating better the last couple of weeks, and losing an additional 10 pounds shows that I’m on the right track.

Anyways, losing 140 pounds obviously means that your body will be changing dramatically. Lately, a couple of things have been more noticable to me, the first being that I’m growing wings. That’s right, wings:


This isn’t upsetting me as much as some people think. It’s amusing, actually. I was never worried about how I would look after the surgery, so having unsightly loose skin isn’t going to hamper the fact that I’m getting healthy. Plus, there are also benefits, like developing a jawline:


In other news, I went for a walk that turned into a jog. A jog.

What the hell, man?

Constant Retraining

Quick update today:

Let it be said that this process is far from easy. I did extremely well in altering my diet pre-surgery, and while I haven’t been awful since, I definitely have to remind myself that I’m doing things wrong. Eating too quickly, spacing food out throughout the day – on a case by case basis, they may not be the worst thing in the world, but if left unchecked, it could become a habit that will completely derail any progress I’ve made. I sound like a broken record right now about refocusing, but I’m having a hard time. There’s no excuse, though.

Getting back to business

As stated in my recent YouTube video, I hit a rough patch for the last couple of months. Despite the mental setbacks, the physical side of the equation didn’t seem to suffer, which probably made it more difficult to see that I needed to refocus. The last couple of weeks have had their ups and downs, with Amber having bariatric surgery herself (a Sleeve Gastrectomy) and becoming more aware of my mental and physical limitations.

One thing that is both a positive and negative for me is that I’m fairly self-aware. I know, for example, that my two greatest fault is an intense fear of failure, which results in becoming overwhelmed more often than I’d like to admit. Because of this, I have a lot of trouble starting tasks, let alone finishing them. This applies not only to important items, but fun things as well. Case in point, the long time between posts. The thought of sitting down and composing an update was paralyzing. I experience that feeling almost every day.

I want to make this clear: I’m not seeking attention, pity, or anything along those lines. I just want to explain what I’m dealing with, because I know I’m not the only one. That’s the whole point of this blog. Originally, my YouTube posts and the subsequent written updates were to cover my weight loss surgery, but it’s impossible to separate that from what made me so overweight in the first place. I realize now that my mental health has always been a problem, and it became progressively worse over the last few years. I want to present a realistic portrait of my journey – the ups and downs, the struggles and successes. This post has become something of a mission statement, I suppose. In any case…

What things do you struggle with? This doesn’t have to be something physical, mental, emotional, etc. Please share in the comments!